Singleness Isn't a Waiting Room Essay

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Singleness Isn't a Waiting Room by Emilee Hill

At 41, I have been “single as a Pringle” for most of my adult life. And yes, now I’m craving Pringles. I’ve had two serious relationships in my life. I ended both of them because of unhealthy issues on their part that they were unwilling to seek help for, and I knew I couldn’t live with that.

 Friends and family often ask if I’m dating, and the current answer is no. Because honestly, how do you meet normal people these days?

 Usually after I say, “No, I’m not dating anyone,” the next question is, “Are you okay with that?” Lately, my answer has been yes. I am at total peace with it.

 That answer made me pause and ask a deeper question. Is it the right kind of peace? Peace is defined as a state of tranquility or quiet. Have I become so comfortable being alone that I now see future relationships as disruptive to my peace? Or am I finally okay on my own and just overthinking it?

 I don’t have a clear answer yet. But I do know this. The right relationship would not take away my peace. It would meet me where I am.

 Over the past six years, I’ve grown accustomed to and often truly enjoy my alone time. As a single person, I have total autonomy and freedom over every area of my life. I can hog the remote control, bake brownies at midnight, or take a two-hour bubble bath with a good book.

 It’s easy to settle into that independent mindset, like Flowers by Miley Cyrus or You Don’t Own Me by Lesley Gore. Sometimes I find myself leaning into the attitude of “I don’t need anyone.”

 And if I’m honest, there are moments when that independence feels strong and freeing. But there have also been quieter moments. Times when I’ve wondered what it would be like to share life with someone or questioned if I’m missing something. Not constantly, but enough to remind me that I’m still human.

 Society sends mixed messages about singleness. On one hand, independence is celebrated and praised. On the other hand, there’s an underlying pull that suggests if you aren’t paired up, you’re somehow missing out. Between those two extremes lies the truth.

 Singleness isn’t a waiting room where life is on pause until something better comes along. It’s a life that is already happening.

 From a faith perspective, singleness isn’t a consolation prize or something to be fixed. It is a season with its own purpose. In First Epistle to the Corinthians 7:32–34, Paul speaks about the unique freedom unmarried people have to focus on the things of God and give Him undivided attention. This does not make marriage less valuable, but it does affirm that singleness is not lesser.

 If you are in a season of singleness, I want to encourage you. Maybe you’re struggling with loneliness, comparison, or the feeling of being overlooked. Jesus does not promise marriage to all of us. If we are in Him, what more do we truly need?

 That doesn’t mean your feelings don’t matter. They do. Acknowledge them. Be honest about them. But don’t let them define you or keep you stuck there.

 What has helped me most is surrounding myself with godly people, whether that is family, pastors, or friends, who offer wise and loving guidance. People who care enough to speak truth, even when it’s not always what I want to hear.

 Stay open to what God is doing in your life. Be intentional with your relationships and your experiences now, instead of putting your life on hold for what might come next.

 As for me, I’m still learning, still growing, and still working on contentment. But I believe the right kind of peace is this. Being grounded enough that whether love comes or not, my life is already full.